Are you REALLY watching?The science of meaningful, meandering and meaty conversations that create real connection.Mom, are you watching? Mom...aaaaare you watching? MOM! Are you WATCHING?
Apparently I wasn’t. It’s a harsh wake-up-call when my 5-year-old son calls me on “my stuff”. I get caught up in my internal monologue and don’t pay full attention to my conversations.
How about you? How many times yesterday did you venture inside rather than truly plug into the conversations around you? What might you have missed out on?
When I’m really enjoying something (like Cabernet Sauvignon wine, goat cheese, or a deeply connected conversation) I say mmm. Maybe these 3 gems will help you have an mmm conversation:
- Seek meaningful: I teach people to have meaningful conversations with their staff and even with strangers at a networking event. But earlier this month I realized it had been weeks since I’d had a meaningful conversation with anyone! Pull up a chair with someone you like today and really talk…and really listen.
- Start meandering: I love that moment when my good buddy and I are crying with laughter and I ask “how did we even get on this topic?” We meandered. We went with the flow. We were curious about every story and we followed those bunny trails. You can do this at work and with friends if you act like an in-depth feature-story-reporter. Get curious...say things like “tell me more about that”. Ask questions like “what made you decide to do that?”
- Get meaty: Call someone on their stuff. Ask tough questions like “what’s this really all about?” Essentially, get to the bloody point! I’m doing this with clients and I’m amazed at how quickly the BIG gems come. It’s not about his boss…it’s about how the boss reminds him of his brother and the tough relationship they had. It’s not about her colleague…it’s about how she feels like a fraud in this job. Ask the questions and get ready to go deeper!
BIG gems come when we’re really watching and when we engage in that mmm conversation. Last week I asked my client Tim:
- Who do you want to be as a leader? Tim had a quick and detailed answer.
- Are you being those things now? Yes most of them, when I have time.
Ooooh thankfully I was really watching here. And then I called him on his stuff:
- When did you last “have time” to be that kind of a leader? Ugh…last year. Something has to change and fast!
Tim had his BIG gem moment. You can have yours too. Be bold enough to ask the mmm questions to discover one BIG gem!
When you do, focus on that one gem. Act on that one. Focus on one….act on one. Just one BIG gem! This is the year to stop trying to be what you want to be and start doing it!
Heard it through the grapevine...
The grapevine has spoken! Hear Rhonda's coaching clients tell all in these video interviews. Listen to audience members rave about what Rhonda's REALLY like on stage. That's right - video clips of real people spilling what makes Coach Rhonda Victoor different as a keynoter and a coach. Click here to watch now! And a special thank you to all of the fine folks who riffed on tape about Rhonda - you're all rock stars!
Email: Info@RhondaVictoor.com
Phone: 250.712.0085
Web: www.RhondaVictoor.com
|
|
|
